professor-pigeon:

I googled ‘swimming pigeon’ once and I still haven’t recovered from this picture

image

(source)

florenceofalabia:

Sometime around 2am, my cat Scrambles hit the space bar on my keyboard and iTunes started playing. I’d been practicing one of my acts before bed, so I had a playlist of just that song, entitled Spider Pussy. It played 85 times in a row, at full volume, with the windows open. The only lyrics in Spider Pussy are the words “spider pussy” over and over. Those words were probably sung 4500 times last night. There is no hope for any good relationship with my neighbors.

kingcheddarxvii:

IT’S CANON, I’M FINALLY IN A CARTOON

agentwoshington:

agentwoshington:

ok but there was a bus filled with potatoes driving around my town today

image

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teacherbach:

sociallychallengednerd:

why do people say chicken as a term for coward? Have you ever meet a chicken? Cause those things will fuck you up man

image

lootcrate:

A De Lorean

 see its funny because deloreans are notoriously shitty and are famous for being shitty and breaking down. its amazing i love these shitty cars

lootcrate:

A De Lorean

 see its funny because deloreans are notoriously shitty and are famous for being shitty and breaking down. its amazing i love these shitty cars

gracefullikeagazelle:

knives-and-pipes:

upgraders:

most private thing im willing to admit: im not good at estimating how much pasta is enough for one person 

image there’s a tool for that

I’m sorry, does that scale progress from a child to a HORSE?

i-once-had-a-guy-tell-me:

I once had a drunk guy tell me I was too sexy to be shooting up at a party. He knocked the needle out of my hands and stepped on the pen, shattering the casing, telling me I should thank him by giving him my number and a kiss. It was my diabetes medicine.

(submitted by anonymous)

mossfaun:

Le Jour" & "La Nuit" by William-Adolphe Bouguereau